Simple Rules for Being a Lawyer

I have been a practicing, officially licensed lawyer now for about eight years. I say "officially licensed" because, like a number of others, I actually stated representing others under the supervision of other lawyers while I was in law school working for my alma mater's legal clinic and a local prosecutor's office. It was while I was in law school and not yet a "baby lawyer" that I attended a lecture by Magistrate Judge Frazier from the Southern District of Illinois. In that lecture, Judge Frazier imparted three simple rules that will allow almost anyone to be an effective lawyer. I have attempted to follow these rules in my practice and I will now share them with you.

1. Don't be a jerk.
2. Know the local rules.

I will get to number three in a moment. For now let's take a look at, what initially, seem to be very simple rules.

Rule Number One seems easy enough to do. Rarely does anyone truly believe they are a jerk. Nevertheless, there seems to be one in every crowd. Here's a simple test: if you are in a crowd and you can't spot the jerk, it's probably you. It seems like such a simple proposition, yet it can still be so difficult to carry out in practice. When another attorney calls and needs a continuance that won't really affect your client, it can be tempting to refuse just to make sure they won't be as prepared as they would normally. However, never forget that, as my grandpa used to say, "It's a you that needs the continuance. Your life as a lawyer will be so much easier by being someone who is regarded as "easy to work with" or *gasp* reasonable. You will also find that you are actually able to get better results for your client because attorneys on the other side of your case will often actually go to bat for you with their clients. Finally, and most importantly for your success as a practicing lawyer, other attorneys will happily refer you work.

Rule Number One applies to your relationship with everyone, but Rule Number Two particularly applies to your relationship with the judges you practice in front of. For those of you that don't know, the all jurisdictions have what are called "local rules." These are the rules developed by the judges for how they want attorneys to practice in front of them. They include rules for scheduling hearings, dealing with temporary and/or discovery issues, all the way down to what to wear and where to sit when you appear before the court. As I stated, these rules are developed by the judges and, not surprisingly, the judges tend to be very proud of their rules and they expect you, the humble barrister, to know them, respect them, and to follow them. Anytime I am about to appear before a court I have never practice in front of before, the first thing I do is download a copy of the local rules to familiarize myself with them. Your esteem with the court will increase exponentially by simply following the local rules.

Finally, Rule Number Three: WHEN IN DOUBT, SEE RULE NUMBER ONE. I cannot stress the importance of simply not being a jerk. Simply being a decent person will get you so far with judges, other lawyers, juries and clients. I am not saying you should not be a zealous advocate for your client, but it should always be tempered with a sense of fairness and decency.

These rules most assuredly over-simplify our beloved profession and will most certainly will not make you a cutting edge lawyer with an encyclopedic knowledge of the law. However, following these simple rules will allow you to enjoy and grow your practice.

Would an Alimony Formula Reduce Litigation?

I read a good article in the ABA Journal discussing some of the efforts and trends to reduce the rancor often involved in divorce litigation. One of the points discussed in the article was the establishment of maintenance/alimony formulas. It really makes sense to me. We have formulas for child support across the country, so why not one for maintenance. The fact is, maintenance is an area in both of the states in which I practice (KY & IL) which is very wide open and subject to judicial discretion. This often leads to hearings and additional litigation that could be avoided if both sides knew essentially what the numbers were going to be. I would like to hear what others think on this issue. Please post a comment or send me an e-mail and let me know what you think.

"War of the Roses": Dark Comedy or Reality TV?

I recently re-watched the movie "The War of the Roses." I actually hadn't watched it since I became a lawyer and I had forgotten most of the movie. In the movie, Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner star as a couple embroiled in a bitter divorce. It is supposed to be a dark satire on the divorce process and the extreme lengths some people go to when involved in divorce litigation. Danny Devito plays the husband's divorce attorney and attempts to be the voice of reason before Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner's characters wind up dead under a giant chandelier at the foot of the staircase of their contested home.

As I sat there watching this movie, I realized that I had encountered several similar situations. One spouse gets rid of another's prized pet? Been there. Damaging the other spouse's treasured car? Done that. Dividing the house in two sections because neither party will move out? Got the T-shirt. Honestly, the movie should probably be required viewing for anyone going through a divorce, especially those with children because the screenwriters and directors never let the audience forget the horrible toll the main characters' antics take on the kids.

The fact of the matter is that acting rationally is not something that is easy to do when going through a divorce. Everything becomes emotionally charged and everything starts to feel like a battle you want to "win." Sometimes people develop this twisted sense of right and wrong. For example,
"He's five minutes late to pick the kids up; no visitation for him. I win!"
"If they want me to pay child support, I'll just quit my job. I win!"

For the record, neither of those are "wins" and will usually wind up with a contempt sanction from the court. Further, the children wind up the real losers in both of those examples. Nevertheless, it is indicative of the type of insanity that can sit in during a divorce.

Because of this twisted sense of morality that sometimes sets in when people get divorced, it becomes extremely important to choose your lawyer wisely. While you want a lawyer who can empathize with you and understand what you are going through, the worst thing a lawyer can do for their clients is to identify with their clients and become emotionally invested in the case. You need someone who will maintain his objectivity and keep his head when you are losing yours. Your lawyer is not your psychotherapist; he's not your preacher; and he's not your best friend. He is there to advise you and guide you and your family through a difficult time and help you watch out for falling chandeliers.

Child Custody is not a decision left to children

Somehow, it has become a common misconception that when a child reaches a magic age, usually around twelve or thirteen, he is now capable of deciding what is in his best interests and where he should live. Anyone who believes this is a good idea across the board, has either blocked their pubescent years from their memory or had a much different adolescence than I did. I can distinctly remember my cousins getting their hands on some contraband fireworks from Missouri one summer when I was about thirteen. We had a lot of fun blowing up ant hills and shooting bottle rockets at each other from our ramshackle "forts," but I would hardly say these decisions were in our best interests.

The fact of the matter is, many states, Kentucky and Illinois included, do have provisions where the court can consider the wishes of the child as to the decision of child custody. However, those wishes are merely one factor for the court to consider and the older the child, the more weight his/her wishes will be given. I get asked on a fairly routine basis at what age can a child decide where he/she will live and I usually glibly reply, "eighteen." The fact of the matter is, in the eyes of the law, a child is a child until he/she is eighteen. Until then, the child must be cared for by his/her parents or some other guardian. Therefore, it is the parents who should be deciding where the child lives and if they can't, then it is up to the courts.

Once the child reaches eighteen, however, he's on his own. My colleague Jim Calloway on his extremely informative blog tipped me off to NowThatYouAre18.org. It was developed by the bar association in Washoe County, Nevada, but it is full of practical advice for kids turning eighteen across the country and should be required reading for all newly minted "adults."

Welcome to the Alford Law Office Blog!

It is hard to believe, but it has been a full year since I opened my own solo practice here in Paducah. I have been very blessed and I hope that my clients have been pleased with the results. To celebrate, I am going live with a new website that my friend Jeff French at Zebra Graphics and I have been working on for some time now. I hope it provides users with a great deal of information whether I represent them or not. You can view it by clicking here or here.

Again, thanks to everyone for their support and I look forward to many more years of practice.